Late Post!

Took me a while to log back into blogger as couldnt remember my log in details! Here is what I wrote earlier:

I was going to write every daybut too tired to think some nights plus I've been to bed late a few times this week i.e. not in bed before 11pm. I try to aim to be in bed by 10:30 at the latest.I do see an improvement in the mornings when I do this. I felt ok at work today apart from around 2pm where I could barely stop myself from crashing out at my desk! However when I sat down I realised I didnt have the energy to move again! Still not as bad as last week when I ended up lying on my floor while trying to pack. Couldnt even really compute in my brain what I needed to pack. Its funny how physically I can be extremely tired but mentally really alert sometimes. Like earlier this evening. I think my brain needs more stimulation but my body is demanding rest. I totally forgot I saw my doctor this morning. You wouldnt believe how forgetfull I become! Sometimes someone asks me to do something and two minutes later I've forgotten so it doesn't get done! Faces are the worst, if I meet someone for the first time in the morning for example I wont be able to recognise them in the afternoon. This happened all the time on placement, I found it hard to know who the people talking to me were! I think thats what I find the hardest in some ways, the mental disintigration. Its frightening and certainly can increase stress levels! I get in trouble in my personnal relationships for example i may tell someone I will do something for them and then fail to remember to do it. Or I more often I misconstrue a situation as I only remember half the conversation that previously took place. I understand how terrifying it must be when people start losing their memory with age. I've gone off on a tangent, i was just going to write about today and how rubbish I felt. Now I've started writing its like a floodgate opening. For the first time in 5 years of being invisible i feel like I have a voice. A small voice but its a start.